from behind computer screens

and empty interactions

you fantasize travel like it means escape.

like passport and plane ticket means

a cure for a restlessness that never seems

to quit.

move abroad.

think this exotic

think this glamorous

think this everything you thought

you could never have.

but it never takes long.

everything starts to feel the same,

soon you can’t tell the cities apart,

and it scares you how well you adapt

to every passing street like there’s no difference

at all.

can’t remember when it all became so casual.

can’t explain why you are restless, again.

why you want to go, again.

feel like you are disappearing, sometimes.

want to disappear, sometimes.

still think this too good for you, sometimes.

still think yourself not good enough for most things.

still wonder why most things are not good enough for you,

after long enough.

wonder how both can be true.

get on another plane,

hope it does not land,

hope you are somewhere, floating in an altitude

between here and there.

between gone and arrived.

somewhere you do not yet know,

where you are nothing

but in transition.


One thought on “restlessness

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